OK, you’ve signed up for the right sites to get laid. You’ve written your killer profile showing your charm, strength and confidence. You’ve posted your pics of you ripped at the gym or playing your acoustic guitar. Now you’ve got to get out there and grab those girls. This is where the hookup dating email comes in. Remember, you are confident, outgoing, strong, not the type of guy to sit back and wait for the introductions to come from the lady (though they will). You want to be proactive.
So you have to write that first email on a hookup dating site. This part is vital. If you screw this up the girl just isn’t going to reply and you ar never going to get anywhere. As the saying goes: You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
So it has to be right. During our tests on these adult dating sites, we tried over 50 different ways to say “Hi”, from literally just “Hi” to whole essays on her beauty and our suitability together. Here we have broken down all we learned into what works on these girls and what doesn’t in terms of hookup dating advice. This is going to be the best advice on what to say on a hookup dating site and the best you’ll get on making that all-important first impression.
The First Dating Message: A Breakdown
Keep It Short
The essay idea is completely out. Just keep it to a few lines, a couple of paragraphs maximum. This is the ideal length to be able to introduce yourself well while not boring her with all the details. You want to keep an air of mystery so you don’t want to tell her everything right off the bat.
Have a few lines introducing yourself. General information like name, age, occupation, location, nothing too serious. Then a few lines about her and what attracted you to her. Say she looks pretty/kind/fun in her profile picture and then pick out a few details from her profile that you like. This will show you were actually paying attention and not just spamming every girl. This is important. Just as if you were applying to a new job, every letter has to be tailored to the girl. Women love that individual attention.
Keep It Funny
Don’t go all serious on her straight away. These girls are looking for some fun on the hookup website, not some guy who is so far up his own ass he can taste yesterday’s lunch. Self-deprecating humor always works, a little nod at your own imperfections. Saying something like this in one place also means you can get away with a bit of boasting elsewhere. If you laugh at your tone-deafness in the first paragraph, you are free to mention your rock-hard abs in another.
Don’t make fun of her though. Remember to stay charming. You can of course add some surrealism into the equation if that is your thing, but try not to go too off the charts. You want her to take it further, not take you to the mental hospital.
Include A Test
You need a hook in the email so that she feels impelled to reply. Ask her about something in her profile, or mentioning something about her pictures (“Hey, was that picture taken at the abc bar downtown? My friends and I love going there.”) You want to strike up a conversation as once you have something going with the girl the chances are it will lead further. It doesn’t need to be important and you don’t need to care about the answer, but there has to be that something to develop the conversation.
The 3 Worst Dating Emails
These are the three worst things you can say in these early messages. It makes us cringe to think we even sent them, but we felt compelled in the name of science and for men everywhere. We had a hunch they might not work to start with but we now have it backed up with hard data…
1. You look fucking hot. I’m free right now. Can I come over and show you my 9″ cock? (Surprisingly, an invitation was not extended.)
2. I make 200K a year and drive a Ferrari F430. Yellow. You can come and ride in it and then come ride on me. (If you mention how much money you’ve got in the first hook up message, you deserve to get scammed)
3. Hi sweetie. I’m 23 and love playing my guitar on lonely nights. I’m looking for someone who might like to get to know me and wants to hear my music and what I have to say. Maybe we could meet up somewhere sometime for a coffee or something. You look nice in your picture. (The girls is thinking Man The Fuck Up!)
We made those mistakes so you don’t have to.
The 3 Best Dating Emails
Now here are the ones that really worked. We got a 90% success rate with these messages and they are almost guaranteed a reply from a women, no matter how hot…
1. Hi. I’m Jack and I live in the Calgary area like you. I was looking at your profile and thought you looked pretty cute, especially in that red dress. Is it a Donna Karen? You said in your profile that you are looking for someone hot and hunky. Well I can assist on both counts – I’m a firefighter, so I often get hot, and all that action has made me hunky. (Short and fun. Gives her a question to answer and sells you at the same time).
2. Bam. You said you wanted a “Knight in shining armor” and I may well be he. Admittedly I am not a knight, the only honor I hold is being able the 100-meter freestyle champion in the Toronto high school district (not now, obviously. A ‘few’ years ago). Neither do I have any armor, though I do scrub up well in a nice suit even if I do say so myself. I also don’t have a horse. Anymore. The Toronto police have impounded him until I pay my parking fines – I didn’t leave him on the double yellow, he walked there himself. (Wait. Are you a cop? Is this a sting) But on all other counts I fit the bill. Email me back if you want to go and steal my horse together. (Stupid, fun and charming)
3. Hey, you looked super cute and very fun in your profile pictures. I particularly liked the one of you having fun with your friend’s downtown. Is that O’Dolleys? Can’t quite tell, but used to go there all the time. A bit about me that you can’t tell from my profile. I work in local politics and I once enjoyed dinner with Rob Ford. He seemed perfectly normal. Maybe I am a bad judge of character. I hope not because you look great.